Mankins Will Bash You in the Nuts

January 30, 2008

jockstrap.gif It may be wise for Giants players to strap on the old jockstrap and cup this weekend because when Logan Mankins isn’t laying pancake blocks on inferior players, he’s bashing your nuts in. Best of all, he has no remorse for his actions. Indeed, it may draw a penalty, much to the chagrin of Guru Belichick — but it’ll probably make opposing players think twice about provoking the beast that is Mankins…


Preparation Continues…

January 30, 2008

Tuesday 1/29, 5 days from the championship, 6pm – chowders, steamers and bud light at Union Oyster. From there you ask? Right into the biggest peckahead sport in the world…HOCKEY. The hub of it, if fact. The ice was fast, cold and filled with glory. The B’s looked tough. Thomas, our all-star netminder, played, at times it seemed, alone on the ice. Our defenseman were powerful, yet inaccurate with their numerous thwarts. We were playing short-handed with a full 6 men on the ice.Miracles can and do happen on ice in the city of champions.

The Predators were fierce, but the no-name attack of these Boston Bruins was too much for the weak southern opponent. After Ference, the Boston defenseman, laid out a lowly Predator, he then, in a matter of seconds, pounced on another Predator, took him to the ground and pummeled him with overhand smashes to the face. The Garden was at ‘Wicked Loud’ on the crowd meter and K-muff was dancing amongst fellow p-heads. Glory.

The game winner should have been a top 5 sportscenter highlight. Glen Metropolit lit up the preds douchebag goalie with a pull-back wrister. The Hub cruised from there to solidify themselves contenders in the National Hockey League. 3-1


Breakfast of Champions

January 29, 2008

As all P-Men fans know, a key element to our success is preparation. During Super Bowl week, this is not limited to the team, it encompasses the peckahead fan-base as well.

Throughout New England, more specifically, in the North End neighborhood of RBI city, the preparations are well underway starting with late night viewing of the 1984 All Valley Karate Tournament won by newcomer Daniel Larusso of Miyagi Dojo. The tournament ends with a jilted Johnny Lawrence looking like Bill Cowher after he won the 1995 AFC championship against Jim Harbaugh’s Colts. Johnny douchebag proudly presenting his championship trophy to the guy who, in typical Pats-style, took his title and his semi-attractive girlfriend (who could clearly take Daniel-son in an ESPN Saturday morning strong-man competition).

Preparation continued this morning with breakfast of champions. Mini bacon cheeseburgers, eggs, grilled onions and baked beans. We also crushed some berries for them anti-oxidizing decencies. You want to prepare like a champion, you have to eat like one. I’m pretty sure that’s what our boy Mankins eats every day. Here are some photos at 7am est:


Finally, the NY Times had a revealing article on Eli Manning today and his relationship with his mother.   Apparently, Eli had trouble reading Dr Suess:

“His mother, he said, was influential in helping him improve his reading so he would not have to repeat first grade”

Tom Brady not only taught his first grade teacher how to read, he cranked her out on the monkey bars after hot morning lessons in spelling.  Poor Eli is going to have the Manning Face on by the time he’s introduced.

So, everyone stay focused this week and work on your preparation as Sunday is going to be a great day.  And if you don’t know how to prepare, stay tuned to the ranch all week.

For you West coast dirtbags, man up!:


January 29, 2008

moss denies battery allegations:

it was latter confirmed that the woman accusing moss of battery was steelers safety, anthony smith.

The facts of life

January 22, 2008

“See, there’s three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want us to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck. And if they didn’t fuck the assholes, you know what you’d get? You’d get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!”

– Team America

January 21, 2008




While today’s win over the chargers was certainly not the result of one or two individual’s efforts, I do think Kevin Faulk deserves special recognition for coming up with a number of amazing catches in crucial plays. 



Tippett, Triplette and Manny Ramirez

January 18, 2008

Here’s some FYIs for the game:

Andre Tippett and John Hannah have been named honorary captains for the game, as well as that New Hampshire girl who was booed by the classless Indianapolis fans because she was wearing a Pats jersey.  Tippett, who should be a lock for the Hall of Fame, is a finalist for the second year in a row and looks like he’ll be on the outside looking in.  He’ll probably be drinking at the last resort with Jim Rice once again.   

Jeff Triplette is the official for Sunday’s game, so don’t look for many penalties.  Triplette lets them play, see this chart:

Crew Games Penalties Yards
Winter 14 204 1,487
Corrente 14 188 1,515
Hochuli 15 184 1,399
Anderson 14 181 1,388
Boger 14 178 1,352
Parry 14 171 1,421
McAulay 14 169 1,345
Carey 14 167 1,248
Leavy 14 162 1,238
Coleman 14 154 1,142
Steratore 14 153 1,159
Green 14 151 1,304
Nemmers 14 149 1,271
Triplette 14 145 1,069
Morelli 14 137 1,077
Carollo 14 135 1,002
Austin 14 118 1,045

He’s certainly no disciplinarian like Hochuli.  Without any bullshit pass interference calls on Moss, he could have 200 yards receiving in this game and 6 touchdowns.

And on an unrelated note, the Globe is reporting that Manny Ramirez is in sick shape, he may even play in September this year.

Instead of working out on his own in Florida, as he usually does, for a good portion of the offseason, Ramírez has lifted weights and taken hacks with Dustin Pedroia and Kevin Youkilisat Athletes’ Performance Institute in Tempe, Ariz. “I think he started working out a week after I did,” Pedroia said. “He’s been there ever since. He looks great. He’s excited about spring training. He just said he kind of wanted to go to the West Coast. He likes the weather. He knew me and Youk were out there working out. We told him it was a great place. He’s doing well, looks great, and ready to go.” 

The same article referenced Tito’s opinion that he’s fine with starting the season with Crisp and Ellsbury.  So, it looks like, whether or not we get Santana, the Sox will have the best pitching in the league, the best defense in the league, and the best offense in the league.  They’re starting to sound like the Pats.